Why on earth has Accenture ditched Tiger Woods?

Surely Tiger’s decision to outsouce sexual services to a range of competing providers is in line with Management Consultancy’s established best practice?

Previously he had been tied to a monopoly Scandianvian supplier – with the cripplingly high social costs this usually entails.  Moreover, given his wife’s age, it is possible that she was on the brink of becoming a depreciating asset who needed to be moved off the balance sheet as soon as possible.

Admittedly he could have off-shored more – to girls from low-wage economies. But the arrangement where he could have anything from nil to three girls on call at any one time allows for better load-balancing, enabling him to handle the peaks and troughs of demand better than under the previous inflexible arrangement. By sourcing girls locally, he was also reducing distribution costs and helping the environment…… while allowing him to adopt a best-of-breed approach to sexual delivery, rather than depending on a single source.

  • Nick Fell

    Haha. Brilliant, Rory.

  • gotnoteef

    I think he took the environmental considerations even further.
    Rather than shipping the Scandinavian supply chain around globally, he was quick to notice and exploit local resources and therefore minimise the carbon footprint of his endeavours.
    International jet-set golf shag-fest with an eye on the green issues. Astonishing vision – probably embarassed Accenture and their rather staid approach

  • Thora Vitou

    Already printed out and stuck on the office wall. Awesome piece!

  • Elin N

    guys… you really know how to kick a girl when she’s down, and treat women as a commodity, nice. you can say what you like about Tiger but please leave me out of it.
    now, where’s my lawyer?

  • Rory Sutherland

    Just to make a vital point clear to more ironically-challenged readers, this post is an attack on management consultancy, not an attack on women.

    My attack on women is scheduled for next week’s post.

  • Elin N

    dear Mr Sutherland, it may surprise you to learn that i do ‘get’ irony. now i’m sure you’re a very nice man but your blog could be read either way (especially if people don’t know you). even then (with irony) i didn’t find it very funny, i found it to be in very poor taste, but then who am i to argue, right? in fact i’ve had a little look around. i clicked on one blog and saw a past middle aged man sticking a camera up a young woman’s crotch, then clicked on another and saw another well past middle aged man use the word hymen. what an example London advertising is setting the rest of the world (but then i’ve heard you have fewer female creatives than the rest of the world too). can’t wait for your next blog. my lawyer is gagging for it, as you might say.

  • steve

    Rory,
    Great irony. And I like GotNoTeef’s comment above appreciating that Mr Woods was also doing his part to reduce his carbon footprint! LOL.

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